God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
