Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
