she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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