That's when you crack a 10am beer
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am one with the molecules
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
