hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
