Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
