my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
