I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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