i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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