I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
