You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Someone came in the potted fern
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
