I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize