i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
