Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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