R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
