If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize