She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
