Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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