The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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