I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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