Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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