I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
