capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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