This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize