Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
