I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
