hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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