did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
