Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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