Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize