Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
