If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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