Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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