I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
