I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
