Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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