I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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