IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
that may or may not have been my penis.
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