Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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