I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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