I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
