The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
