It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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