No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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