hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
