you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
