walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
