I wannas sexs uuuuu
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
