But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
