JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
