Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
