I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
