I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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