You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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