What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize