You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
