Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
