he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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