Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
