i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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