I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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