I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
