All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
