Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
