your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
