So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
