I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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